Shell several dollars worth of fresh cranberry beans from the Iacopis.

Place in large saucepan. They will fill the saucepan to a depth of approximately one inch. Add enough water to cover the beans by an inch.

Place the saucepan on the stove, cover it, and turn the burner to medium-high.

Step into the office to answer the phone. Enjoy brief phone conversation, check email, and compose medium-size letter.

Send letter and return to kitchen for something to drink. Notice alarming smell.

Snatch saucepan from burner and dump beans into kitchen sink.

While running water into saucepan to prevent the burned residue from hardening, observe that all beans fell into sink.

Taste bean. As Julia says, "Needs salt." Try another. Also needs salt. Yet another. Same problem.

Marvel at how the beans do not taste burned but yet came from burned pan. Marvel at how clean sink was/is, except for beans.

Scoop beans into bowl with hands.

Salt beans and eat while typing.

Observe that beans could be a trifle softer but be unwilling to push luck. Observe that burned smell from kitchen has reached office in the time it took to write this.

Open window.

Resolve to not try this one again.

Know myself.

Sigh.